All in Two Abortions

"I’m trying to let go of a bit of the guilt I feel from this being my second procedure."

Sharing Truth
Two Abortions, U.S.

“I found out I was pregnant about 2.5 weeks ago. I had a complete meltdown and was conflicted on what I wanted to do. For a while I was 50/50 — primarily because I felt guilt because if I decided to terminate this would be my second termination, and I felt so much guilt/shame over that. My last termination was a very long time ago, 10 years or so and I was super young and didn’t think twice about terminating.” Read more.

"I’m so glad I trusted my brain, my body and my heart."

Sharing Truth
Two Abortions, Oregon, U.S.

“I found out I was pregnant again when she was 7 months old and knew I wasn’t ready for another baby. It felt so selfish to give my daughter a sibling so young. I just want her to grow up and be the main focus for a while. I ordered the abortion pills and tried to prepare myself while waiting for them to arrive. Once they arrived I was so scared and just bawled my eyes out thinking about how terrible of a person I was to be doing this.” Read more.

"This allowed me to look at abortion as a blessing for me, a chance to break many generational traumas."

Sharing Truth
Two Abortions, Location Not Given

“At 15 I got pregnant. I did not want to carry the stereotype that most Latina women have of having children very young. At 22 I got pregnant for the second time. With no full time job and being a first-year masters student, I knew that having a baby was not in the plans. I thought I was supposed to feel guilty –otherwise I feared being perceived as a bad person if I felt relieved from having an abortion.” Read more.

"I started crying as I didn’t want to be pregnant and I told them I wanted to end it in any possible way. "

Sharing Truth
Two Abortions, Palestine

“Because of the health risks of this pregnancy, I was able to reach a doctor who was able to help me with information about pills that ended the pregnancy. I was then referred to the government hospital to get a sterilization operation. It took an entire year to get a date for the operation but when it came to the day, the anaesthetist refused to treat me.” Read more.

Podcast ~ "As a 16-year-old I kept hoping it would just go away."

Sharing Truth
Two Abortions, New Jersey, New York, Audio

Listen to this episode of the Abortion Diary to hear what it was like to get an abortion before Roe v. Wade legalized the procedure in 1973. Judi M. tells of getting pregnant after a rape at 16 and then going to an apartment for an illegal abortion. Her frightening experience led her into a career in reproductive health. Her descriptions of anti-abortion protesters reveal how little has changed since her 2nd abortion in 1978. Listen.

"I regret not having that abortion."

Sharing Truth
Two Abortions, Missouri, U.S.

“Choosing to end my third pregnancy was challenging, probably more emotional than the first, but I had no doubts that I was doing the right thing. I wasn't on that roller coast of emotions for this abortion, and it comes down to me already having an abortion and me having a busier life. I was at a baby shower for a friend of mine a week after and I had no problems looking at her and no problems talking about babies. I knew that day that I was never going to regret the choice I made.” Read more.

"I had no opportunity other than if I kept my baby I would be homeless."

Sharing Truth
Two Abortions, U.K.

“I felt so happy and proud to be pregnant, even though throughout my time with my boyfriend I did have doubts about my relationship with him. He would do things regularly to upset me and there was things that would get on my nerves that he’d do, but I just accepted that I was pregnant and this would be the man I’d be with whether I’m certain about him or not.” Read more.

"Things are going to be so much easier now that we don't have to take care of a fourth child."

Sharing Truth
Two Abortions, Ohio, U.S.

“My first abortion was when I was 20 years old. That abortion gave me a college degree, a career, a place to live, a wonderful husband, and three beautiful children. My second abortion was last week. I'm 33 years old, I love the life I live, and I didn't want to start over. What I do regret, and what I probably always will regret, is not telling my husband. I never told him about my first one, and my husband is on the edge of ‘pro-life’ and I knew he would say no to this.” Read more.

"I was so blinded by the love I had for him that I couldn’t see he didn’t love me or that I deserved better."

Sharing Truth
Two Abortions, Location Not Given

“I was pro-choice, but if I was to ever get pregnant I told myself I’d always keep it. However, it’s easier said than done, especially when I know in my heart I can’t give my baby the life it deserves. I ended up terminating the second baby as well and I made a promise with myself that I’d never make any promises.” Read more.

"If you have goals and dreams, remember that you have the power to decide." ~ "Si tienes metas o sueños, recuerda que tienes el poder de decidir".

Sharing Truth
Two Abortions, Ecuador, Illegal, In Spanish & English

“This was my second abortion. Unlike the first, my heart is sad because I do not doubt my partner, how much we love each other, but precisely for that reason we decided to postpone our paternity and fulfill the goals we have and the dreams in which we are still only two :)” Read more.

“Este fue mi segundo aborto. A diferencia del primero, mi corazón está triste porque no dudo de mi pareja, de lo mucho que nos amamos, pero precisamente por eso decidimos posponer nuestra paternidad y cumplir las metas que tenemos y los sueños en los que aún somos solo dos. :)" Lee mas.

"I am crazy about my children but I wasn’t willing to be a mother again." ~ "Eu sou louca pelos meus filhos, mas não estava disposta a ser mãe de novo."

Sharing Truth
Two Abortions, Illegal, Brazil, Portuguese/English

“We were super broke, there wasn’t even enough money to go to the cinema. There were also complications in my previous pregnancies and my life was at risk. But still, that’s not why I had the abortions. I had them because I didn’t want to have another baby.” Read more.

“A gente estava super apertado, sem grana suficiente nem pra ir ao cinema, não tinha mesmo! As minhas gravidezes também foram complicadas, eu corria risco de vida. Mesmo assim, não foi por isso que eu fiz os abortos. Eu fiz, porque eu não queria ter outro filho!” Continue lendo.

"After a week, I felt relieved and at peace." ~ „Po tygodniu poczułem ulgę i spokój”.

Sharing Truth
Two Abortions, Poland, Polish/English

“I had my first abortion at the doctor's office. Basically I don't remember anything. What was left in my head was that I was bleeding a lot. There was no pain, no fear. My second abortion, when it comes to pharmaceuticals, I was terribly afraid! There are no words to describe it. I was left alone with this. The partner paid for the tablets and fell silent.” Read more.

„Miałam pierwszą aborcję w gabinecie lekarskim. W zasadzie nic nie pamiętam. W mojej głowie pozostało to, że dużo krwawiłem. Nie było bólu ani strachu. Moja druga aborcja, jeśli chodzi o farmaceutyki, strasznie się bałam! Nie ma słów, żeby to opisać. Zostałem z tym sam. Partner zapłacił za tabletki i zamilkł”. Czytaj więcej.

"I was so uneducated about pregnancy signs and all of that, that I thought my period being late for more than two weeks was something normal."

Sharing Truth
Two Abortions, Undisclosed Country, Illegal, Location Unknown

“I live in a country where abortion is a crime punishable by 25 years in prison. I think the most difficult thing about an abortion is when you have to go through it all alone because you absolutely can't tell anyone because you know no one will understand you.” Read more.

Update: "I sat on that bench just going through the WHAT IF's, and in the end I found myself still extremely grateful that I made the right decision."

Sharing Truth
Two Abortions, Oregon, Update

“My second abortion was still a difficult decision, especially after giving birth to a beautiful daughter, but the consequences of not having that abortion would have been far worse. I wish these ‘pro-life’ people could read my story and understand that abortion is a hard decision but can also be a wonderful option. Why make a woman suffer through life because of an unwanted pregnancy?” Read more.

"My second abortion was an incredible experience as I felt loved and supported."

Sharing Truth
Two Abortions, Texas, Colorado

“My previous abortion helped me prepare better this time around, and it was a pleasant experience. I had a fantastic obstetrician supporting my decision. I hired an abortion doula and tasked my husband with caring for our daughter. My daughter was in the room while I had an abortion, playing with my husband and her toys. I was in a tub of warm water, watching Grey’s Anatomy and eating a sandwich through the pain while my doula supported me emotionally and physically.” Read more.

"I can live my life the way I intended to and when I'm ready, I'm sure I'll be a great mom, just not anytime soon."

Sharing Truth
Two Abortions, Washington

“When I went in to get the ultrasound they do before the procedure, I started to cry about how disappointed I was in myself about having to get another one. The nurse said, 'this is more common than you think.' That helped a little, then another nurse who did the education part and was going to be in the room during the procedure noticed I was upset and said, 'If I was pregnant right now, I'd do the same thing. Sometimes the timing is not right and only you can decide that.' After that, I stopped crying and started to feel okay about myself.” Read more.

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