What happened when this 'secret' was posted on IG: "I want to quit, but I'm one of the few remaining abortion providers in the South."

Spreading Love

Becca Rea-Tucker — also known as The Sweet Feminist — welcomes her 228K Instagram followers to share their secrets with her. When she posted a secret told by an overwhelmed abortion provider, nearly 250 people responded within 24 hours with an outpouring of loving kindness and gratitude. We share many of those comments in this post. Click here to read them.

"She viewed me and members of my staff with open contempt, hostility and disgust yet she accepted our care."

Sharing Truth
One Abortion, Twins, Colorado, U.S.

“We are routinely helping women from anti-abortion red states who come to my office in Colorado to end pregnancies that would endanger their lives in many ways. One of them came to us recently with a desired pregnancy that was hopelessly afflicted and threatened her own life and health. She learned more than halfway through her pregnancy that she was carrying twins joined at the chest with one heart.” Read more.

"My concern is that a conservative moral approach to sex causes sexual behaviour to live in secret, hidden and less manageable ways."

Sharing Truth
South Africa

“When I enter into conversations with women about their decisions to terminate pregnancies, it is like entering into a secret world where we start to speak about the unspoken. Every woman who is reluctantly faced with the difficult decision to terminate a pregnancy has a unique story to tell. The details of this story are what lead to having to make this choice. There is almost always a societal audience — even if it is an imagined one — that places judgments on this story.” Read more.

"When I was working on a state Medicaid dataset, I once came across an individual in the dataset who had had 7 abortions in the span of 2 years."

Sharing Truth
United States

“I could see where she had her care. She went to several different clinics for her abortions, even though her residence remained the same. Likely this was due to abortion stigma and she feared being judged by the clinic staff. At the time, I was relatively new to abortion and was very concerned about her. But over time and after observing a few procedures, my thinking on this changed.” Read more.

"I remind them that life happens and to be good to themselves, extend themselves some grace."

Sharing Truth
United States

“We treat every patient with dignity and make them feel exceptionally cared for. We are honored that they trust us with their care. I do sometimes bring it up, even if the patient doesn't mention it, if they give me a sheepish look, or their affect is off. I remind them that having more than one abortion does not impact their health or future fertility.” Read more.

"Twenty years ago, a 17-year-old girl died of a septic abortion. She had an abortion at 15 with us, then got pregnant again."

Sharing Truth
Peru

“The teen remembered that we gave away contraceptive pills, but she didn’t take them, and she thought we were going to scold her and deny the service. Therefore they went somewhere else to put an intrauterine tube. From that difficult and sad case, we have chosen to tell the counselors to always emphasize to patients that they can return without fear of being judged or scolded.” Read more.

"We meet everyone with the same nonjudgmental care no matter if they are there for their first or 5th abortion."

Sharing Truth
United States

“I usually discharge patients from recovery and say something simple such as, “You know we are always here if you need us!” My whole staff emphasizes this point, and certainly to patients who seem apologetic when they come back to us again, that they can come as many times as they need to and we will give them the same excellent care every time.” Read more.

"We don’t see abortions as failures of prevention, but as experiences that can be transformative for women."

Sharing Truth
United States

“We have a practice of stigma reduction around more than one abortion and judgment. Sometimes patients say, “I was so worried that the staff would judge me” and then we get to open up that conversation. We also have an emotional assessment on our patient chart. One question is, “I’m worried I will be judged by _________” — and some people will say “staff”. We have some responses to this, which mostly boil down to, “We understand that Mother Nature wants you pregnant, all the time!” Read more.

"We foster an environment that is based on staff treating patients as family."

Sharing Truth
United States

“We have a dedicated call center for all five of our clinics, and call volume is huge. In fact, we break records with our phone company. The phone staff is trained to ask about previous reproductive experiences, and multiple abortions, of course, come up. The staff are trained to fight any stigma. The staff also challenges stigma if a call comes from a referring physician and the physician suggests stigma or judgment about treatment numbers.” Read more.

"At the clinic where I was trained, we called patients who had been with us before our 'sisters.' "

Sharing Truth
United States

“I remember one patient who was designated ‘difficult’ because she refused to answer the gestational history questions on her chart and in counseling, even though we knew she had been with us before. I always wondered if we could have made her experience more positive by telling her that it is normal to have more than one abortion, and that we recognized that she was making good choices for herself and her family — instead of asking her how many.” Read more.

"I was floored by the power I felt I had to change a woman's life in the process of a 5-10 minute procedure."

Sharing Truth
Two Abortions, California, U.S.

“When I thought about writing this story, I was nervous. Nervous about using my real name, about others being able to identify some of the people in my story, identifying myself as an abortion provider, and acknowledging my abortions. I didn't want people who think highly of me to know that I had had abortions. But, after thinking about it a lot, I decided that being open about my experiences felt better than hiding. I hope other women, both the women in my life and the women I take care of, will have the freedom to speak out, too.” Read more.

"Those who have had abortions before will often share that experience, like elders passing on wisdom to youth."

Sharing Truth
United States

“The pop music that plays in the recovery room all day belies its sacred nature: this is a place where women come to grips with a significant experience. The memory of such an experience may evoke relief, sorrow, or mixed emotions, but almost all of these women will remember it as having helped to shape the course of their lives.” Read more.