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The first time I got pregnant, I was so shocked that I couldn’t imagine staying alive.
My partner was a child himself and my psyche didn’t feel strong enough to be the stable mother I would’ve liked to be when having a child.
I promised myself that I’ll work on my stability and that this is not going to happen again.
How can we promise ourselves that it’s not going to happen?
When it happened again I felt so disappointed about myself and I realized again I am with an immature person who is not even able to take care of himself.
Also, my physical and mental health were unstable. So again, I had decided I am not going to be a mother who’s nearly surviving even without a kid.
The worst thing was, I never spoke to anyone about it, engaged in shame and guilt.
When I try to find people who live through the same, it’s almost impossible. I feel like the discrepancy of numbers of people with abortion and the ones who talk about it is huge.
I feel really lonely and scared and I wish we were free to speak openly, but I am too scared of getting attacked, so I keep my mouth shut.
I hope we all start speaking about it so others can relate and also start talking openly about it.