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It took me ages to get pregnant with my eldest. I was so excited.
But her dad was controlling and our relationship was harder than I can explain. I couldn’t have her grow up around that, as it would have been like my childhood.
I met someone else just before Covid. I got pregnant and my husband found out and insisted he wanted me back. I aborted the baby.
My husband made my life a misery, got himself a tinder account, and we divorced soon after.
When I bought my house for my daughter and I at the beginning of 2021, I was seeing the same man I had an affair with again.
And, like clockwork despite all precautions, I got pregnant. I didn’t keep it. He had also just left his wife and his mental health was through the floor.
Three years later we bought a house with my daughter and his two children from his first marriage. Prior to this, I had two miscarriages.
I figured it was 2 for 2. I was devastated but felt like I was ‘even’ with God, if there’s such a thing.
I got pregnant with our daughter just before we moved into our home in 2024. We said no more children.
We were happy and using contraception regularly with no issues. However, today I’ve found out I’m pregnant again. I can’t have it. We can’t afford it.
The mortgage is enormous, we have 4 children between us, and we are not in the right place for this. Three abortions. What is this?! This was not supposed to be my life. I’m trying to be hard hearted about it.
I am mind blown this has happened. I often think about the other 2 and the 2 losses, and kind of feel at peace about it, but this has thrown my world upside down. We were so careful and it still happened. We can’t have another baby.
Accidental pregnancies and abortions are more common than people realize. Click here to read more.