This story and the many stories in the comments afterward are published at Reddit.
Has anyone had more than one abortion?
I had my first abortion just over two years ago when I 19. Even though I know it was the right decision I still get upset and found it quite emotionally traumatic, I had no option other than to go through it alone.
I am now 22, and just found out I’m pregnant again. I’m not in a place either mentally or financially to have a child.
I just feel really ashamed that it’s happened again, and I’m so worried about what the people in the clinic are going to think of me when I have to tell them it’s happened before.
I just wanted to ask if anyone else has been through a similar situation to me, and if so how did they feel about it/deal with it?
I had a friend who had three abortions, yet also had three children with three separate men. Two of the abortions were between her first and second marriages, one from a guy she dated briefly and the other from a one-night stand. The last abortion was with the guy she is currently married to, when they were just dating. After the abortion and after they got married, she ended up having her last child. She's ok with her decisions, and that's all that matters.
I’ve had two, a decade apart. One at 21 and one at 31. Each for entirely different reasons and I became pregnant in entirely different circumstances. I do have some feelings of guilt and shame, particularly for the second one because the choice I made the second time was because I simply did not want the pregnancy (I am financially stable and married), whereas the first time I had no job, no relationship with the father, and no real way of caring for a child effectively. I will say though, my second abortion taught me that abortion is truly a normal part of healthcare and that we should really try to remind ourselves that we are allowed to exert control over our own bodies and lives without feeling horrible shame about it. Hang in there 💛
I had two, one was a little more than a year ago and one in January. Both were MAs and the first really took everything out of me, emotionally and physically, the second one was really hard physically because I’m not very good with pain, but I promise that no one is judging you, especially in the clinic or wherever you chose to go. They were really supportive and cracked a few jokes, which really helped me throughout the process and told me I should think about taking birth control, which I am going to begin again soon ! You’re not alone, there are many people that go through it !
I have had 2 previously, surgically. And now I am pregnant and and very happy that I am now. I was very unprepared for the first 2 and ashamed to be honest because I did see myself wanting kids some day just not then. This time is completely different because I found the father of my child that I love very much and can’t wait to start a family with. If you don’t feel ready you do have a choice. It’s hard to go through but harder when you’re not ready.
Not me but a cool woman I knew. She had about 4 abortions between the ages of 18-36. She found out she was pregnant again at 39 and realized that this time around she was financially, emotionally, and mentally ready to be a mom so she went through with him. She has a toddler now and she’s so happy that she had those abortions throughout her life because she’s able to provide everything he needs and dedicate all the time possible to him. Yes it sucks to have to go through it, but try not to feel guilty. You’re doing what’s right for you, your sanity, and your health.
Lots of people do, it doesn't make your decision any less valid 💓 I hope you can be kind to yourself. You can only ever do what feels best for you at any given time
Yes, you're definitely not alone. Had 2 surgical abortions. My first when I was 15, second one less than a year after. And I'm younger than you.
I am about to have my second one in 3 days. I had my first one a few months ago. I felt stupid at first and was worried about being judged but that quickly went away when I realized this is gonna change my life for the better and I don’t care who judges me at this point. It was an eye opener and now I’m looking for a doctor that will sterile me asap. You’re not alone! I talked to someone on here that had 6.
Click the image to learn about contraceptive failure and the many other challenges of preventing pregnancies for a long lifetime of fertility.
Yes, I’ve had 2 medical abortions within 2 years of each other. I felt terrible when I found out I was pregnant for the second time, knowing that I wasn’t going to keep it. I spent a lot of time blaming myself and feeling irresponsible, getting angry that I had “learned nothing from the first time”. Some guilt from all of the pro-life propaganda BS buzzed around in my brian and started to make me feel like I was obligated to keep it. Spoiler alert: I wasn’t and I didn’t. And I am so glad that I didn’t because my career is finally going places. I’m going to be able to pay off my student debts and save up to have a kid when I’m financially ready. It was the right thing for me at the time to do.
After a while, you end up realizing that those thoughts and feelings in the moment are pretty normal to experience, but are also unproductive and unnecessary. Things like this can happen and it’s alright. Accidental pregnancies are way more common than spoken about. Also, no one in the clinic is going to be concerned with your business. They may try to convince you to start some form of birth control, but that’s entirely your decision and they most likely won’t push the issue. Don’t forget that you are only making the right decision for YOURSELF - no one else. What you decide you want to do is the right decision. Good luck. If you need anyone to talk to, feel free to message me. ❤️
2 medication abortions approx 2.5 years apart. Traumatic MA first time and I swore never to end up in the same situation again - that'd I'd not work and the second MA went so incredibly well. Got to speak to a lady at the clinic after the second one because I felt ashamed having to go do a second abortion (I'm also at an age when most people have had their first kid). She said that it is very common that ladies go there more than once and it is nothing to be ashamed of and there is no judgement 💕
I've had 2. One pregnancy was identical twins and one was passed away and slowly doing the same to the other twin. My 2nd was due to trisomy 18 I had the abortion at 24 weeks .... both abortions destroyed me.
I'm 23, just had my second MA in 6 months. I have a 18m old daughter. I always knew she'd be my only. She was planned, and despite all the dysfunction our lives have been, I've never regretted it. The 2 subsequent pregnancies were unwanted and happened as result of desperately trying to "fix" the relationship with her now heroin addicted father. I got two positive tests ~12 days after the first time he got violent/the last day I spoke to him.
I only told my best friend of 20 years about this a 2nd time. Right now, under numbness, guilt and shame are tucked in tightly. I feel it's been a disservice to my daughter I've temporarily emotionally neglected her while doing damage control after we endured the chaos that is her father. I feel guilty for putting my body through so much in a short time. I feel ashamed that I've not used my privileged upbringing to make "better" choices. I feel stupid for a second abortion. I feel unqualified for my license to practice psychotherapy that I've earned earlier than many do. I feel like my clients shouldn't look to me for guidance even 15 years from now because I can't even be responsible for me.
But... it's important to examine the stereotypes we're scared of being smacked with - promiscuous, immoral, selfish, trashy, careless, even evil. We don't want to fit them. We don't want to believe we are worthless or broken or gross. And we AREN'T. Those stereotypes have formed after years of anti-choice people preaching extreme exaggerations down the chain to convince others to believe the same. It's helpful to consider exactly how we don't fit their stereotypes. None of us fully do. What are your strengths? Why do your closest friends/family love you? How much good have you contributed to the universe by helping friends through hard times, meeting your own goals, and being a good person? What are your proudest moments? Take those answers to heart.
I think of how people treat me without knowing my medical history- they are intrigued by my travels, compliment my engaged parenting, commend my educational accomplishments. They seek my advice on their own issues and vent openly. They check on me, they are interested in my perspective, they enjoy my energy.
We are who we are, and none of us are vile, demonic, dark-hearted whores who love abortion. That doesn't exist. It's easier to get pregnant than some think. It's easy to find yourself unable to handle things the ideal way. If there's 1 thing I've learned since my daughter was born, it's that we must make hard decisions for ourselves first sometimes to be able to craft a beautiful and healthy life for our children. If that decision is that we need to terminate, transitioning that energy from our body and into wherever peaceful place it goes in the vast universe, that is still earning good karma on you. You are just as worthy of good things now as you were before either abortion. You're the same, just with a bit more wisdom and life experience.
Hey love, I was 20 and just had another one a few months ago before I turned 23. I had medication abortions both times so I didn't have to speak to anyone really. But knowing it happened twice was like a punch in my own gut. My plan b didn't work the second time around. This time it was with my long term boyfriend and he knows about my first one. I just didn't like the feeling of being someone who goes through it more than once. But honestly sweetie, it's no one's business to judge you. I'm not ready for kids and I don't know if I'll ever be ready but I stand by my decision. After my first abortion I had some feelings about it. But after the second one I just felt like a new person. I was really sick and couldn't keep anything down. And I immediately felt better and like myself again. You got this just take time to process your feelings and fuck what anyone else has to say.
I’ve had 2 medication abortions . One was in 2019 at 20 years old , I was 9 weeks along . My second was this year in March at 23 years old , I was also 9 weeks along . It’s no big deal . It’s a medical procedure for a medical issue . Accidents happen . Look at it this way : humans live to be 70, 80, 90 years old easily . In that almost century you’re bound to have one if not more pregnancies that aren’t necessarily planned or wanted. It’s no big deal . That’s why we have these clinics. I promise nobody will judge . At my second abortion another young lady and I were chatting . She was 21 , a college student in nursing , and on her 3rd . All will be well !
literally the same exact situation with me. 19 for my first one now i’m 22 about to have my second one this week and i’ve been feeling so awful about it. thank you for making me feel less alone.
Same boat, first was 19, second was 23. I had the same feelings of shame and guilt (not bc I had any regrets of getting an abortion but bc I felt dumb ig??) like “oh how could I get myself into this situation AGAIN” but they passed pretty quickly bc accidents happen, I wouldn’t blame myself for getting a cold twice. You’ll probably get asked if you’ve had one previously and when but that’s only so they have a clear idea of your medical history, no one’s gonna judge you. Hope everything goes smoothly and wishing you a speedy recovery 💕
Thank you 💗 I’m literally feeling the same as you felt, the first time it happened I SWORE it would never happen again and here we are :/
For real!! And it doesn’t matter if you took every precaution or none bc shit really do just happen regardless, your choice to get an abortion is completely valid. Hot water bottle and ibuprofen will be a saviour, if you ever need to talk feel free to hmu 💕
Hi there. I work in abortion care and I promise, no one is going to judge you. I’ve had patients who were on their 5th abortion; you’re going to be just fine 😊