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I got pregnant for the first time when I had just turned 18, I was 2 weeks into my first year at university. I had been with my ex for about a year at that point and we instantly agreed it would be best to have an abortion.
When my telephone appointment came around, I was advised that because of a course of steroids I had a few weeks prior, they couldn't perform the abortion for another few weeks.
I had an awful time in my first pregnancy, I was sick every single day, I couldn't keep food or drinks down at all and I lost a lot of weight because of it. I was also away from home and feeling very homesick.
I was so ill and depressed that I attended my first month of university and completely stopped going to classes then.
I had my scan to see how far along I was and by then I was about 14 and a half weeks, which was further than I originally thought. Because of how far I was, I had to be in the hospital for the termination.
I also had to do it by myself because whilst covid rules had been wiped, the hospital wouldn't allow my then partner to be with me. It was a very scary experience.
I begged the nurses for painkillers but they just kept saying "yes, we will get you some paracetamol", but they never did.
It wasn't until the pregnancy had passed and I pressed the buzzer to let the nurses know that they even remembered.
The nurse walked in after I had buzzed and said, "Sorry, I completely forgot that paracetamol" and I just cried.
But I felt so much relief. I was able to be a normal person again. But the amount of lessons I had missed at uni, I was either going to be kicked out or I dropped out. So that's exactly what I did.
I don't regret my decision and I am doing a lot better for it.
However, my partner and I broke up a month or so ago. It was mutual at first but then it got very messy and mean so we stopped talking.
Then I found out I am pregnant again. Luckily, I caught it much earlier this time so I can carry it out at home by myself - which will be happening this weekend.
I am 19 now, 20 in a few weeks. I don't have any hesitation towards it, but at least last time I was living away from home.
Now I am living with my parents and brothers, and it is so hard knowing how disappointed they would be if they ever knew.
I don't regret anything I have done or am doing, but it doesn't make it any easier. My entire support system is gone right now.
This story also appears in the section titled Our Stories of More Than One Abortion.
Click here to listen to this podcast and hear an OB/GYN explain the misunderstandings and cruel stereotypes of later abortions. Learn why gestational bans and exceptions to abortion care are cruel and unusual punishment.