All in Two Abortions
“Despite being on the pill, I found myself pregnant again. And this time I had no idea how to feel. On the one hand, I still desperately wanted children. On the other hand, in my heart of hearts I knew that this was not a healthy relationship. Was it fair to bring a child into this? What if Andrew treated them like he treated me?”
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“I became a mother to a beautiful baby girl and a wife to a monster. I tried to offer him a life that I thought would make him want to change. Big shock – it doesn’t work that way. As the abuse escalated after her birth, when she was 9 months old I found the courage and support to leave. He raped me the last night we spent under the same roof and about a month later I found out I was pregnant. “
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“When we had sex, he 'didn't allow me' to use diaphragm, spermicide or condoms (nor did I ever like the idea of using The Pill). So I'd 'relent', and we typically had sex using no birth control at all, even though it greatly concerned me.”
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“By the time I turned 18 I had met someone new at my job. We fell madly in love very quickly. It was a blossoming work romance and I was incredibly happy. We used condoms religiously, never skipped it, not once. However, three months into our very new, very loving relationship, one condom broke. That’s all it took, that one time, that one condom. I was pregnant.”
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“After I had my daughter I made the decision to have an IUD placed for birth control. At 22, 6 months away from graduating from college, I became pregnant. I was in a long term relationship, however, I knew that I did not want bring another child into the world. I was barely making it as it was, raising a child on my own, going to school, it was an incredibly difficult time. When I went to for my initial appointment, the nurse was completely shocked that I had gotten pregnant while having an IUD in place.”
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“As the confirmation came in that I was indeed pregnant, my husband and I decided that it would be best to end it. I was in school, he was working like crazy, we could barely afford our son. Having another child I believe would have been a death sentence for our ability to move up in life and provide for a child we already had.”
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“The nurse took my hand and told me this and I'll never forget exactly: " I'm right here for you. Hold my hand and squeeze as tight as you need to if you feel anything." Then we had a conversation about school, and by the time we started we were finished. We didn’t get to talk at all. I got up and put my shorts on and she sent me to another well-lit room with a little tea and chocolate. I stayed there for about 30 minutes and called my boyfriend. He came and we went back to life.” Click the green title to read more.
“It was emotionally traumatic trying to reconcile loving a man yet knowing not having his child is for the best. I didn't regret it for a second though. I always knew I was grateful for the access only a 2-hour drive into the big city provided. I'm from a rigid Christian upbringing and everything in me knows I made the right decision. No amount of guilt or shame stops me from knowing deep down my path is for a purpose.”
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“To this day, I think of the children I could have had. Would they have been boys? Girls? One of each? If I had had them, one would be going on 7 and the other would be going on 2 months. But I don’t look back at my decision with regret. I am so happy I was able to choose and I am so happy that when I decide to have children, that they will be wanted.”
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“The next year, and after failed birth control, I found I was again pregnant. I quickly made an appointment at the same clinic and they saw me 2 days after. Apparently, I was too early to detect any pregnancy, so I had to wait 2 weeks for my next appointment. Here I am once again!“
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“It’s not “murder.” I stand by that fact wholeheartedly. I love children. I want a family. I will tell my future children about my abortions — when they’re ready/old enough obviously) — and it’s not something I hide from the general public. I’m very open. Because I’m not ashamed.” Click the green title to see the whole story.
“The illegality of my abortions did not affect my feelings, just my willingness to talk about it with those I feel safe not to be judged by. It was the right choice for my life.” Click the green title to see the whole story.
“I feel I made the right choice even though it is emotionally and physically painful. I have never regretted my first abortion either. I need to get myself to a point where I can be a wonderful parent. I'm not there yet. To any of the women out there thinking about abortion, only you know if the choice is right for you.” Click the green title to see the whole story.
“Years later, when her son was 6 years old, Allen’s partner had a vasectomy. She said she didn’t realize that for some time after a vasectomy it is still possible to get pregnant. She was too old to have another baby and not financially prepared, she said.” Click the green title to see the whole story.
“I no longer carry shame for my abortions because I know the hatred comes from misinformation. I know I made the right choices for myself and my body. I’m a mother, and I love my babies dearly. I’m a human who has sought out medical care when I needed it. By doing so, I’ve had two abortions. After the second, I realized with certainty that abortion is reproductive health care. “ Click the green title to read more.
“I have two children and I’ve had two abortions. I am deeply grateful for my children and enraged that my abortions would be anyone’s business — not because I’m ashamed, or regretful, or even feel that it’s especially private — no more so than any other medical procedure — but because for me it’s just not an interesting, important fact of who I am.” Click the green title to read more.
“I’ve been pregnant six times in my life. I have three children. I had one miscarriage and I’ve had two abortions. Four of my pregnancies have been unintended and I was using birth control with all of them. I joke with people that I’m very fertile and I tell men now when I’m in a sexual relationship with them that I get pregnant very easily. Like you could walk by me and look at me the wrong way and — poof! — I’m pregnant. And that actually is not that far from the truth.” Listen to the whole podcast episode.
“Six months later I was pregnant again. This time a condom had broke. I had gone to the OB clinic in my small town. The morning after pill was still very new. It cost 75$ that I did not have. The nurse gave me birth control pills and instructed me to take many more than was normal thinking it would work like the morning after pill. I also researched abortifacient herbs and tried that. I was still pregnant.” Click the green title to read more.
“I am bitter as I see the pictures of their kids—these old partners of mine. They were never called sluts online or in person. They never suffered any consequences. I would just appreciate an apology, an acknowledgement—freely given of what that wrought, their role in it, how they behaved, and what they should have been—which was much much better men than they were.” Click the green title to read more.
“He didn't want it so I made up my mind but felt as if I wasn’t really present. I went through it on my own and didn't tell anyone.” Click the green title to read more.
