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All in Three Abortions
“This morning I was filled with nerves and now I’m back home with such relief. I was kind of okay the first time and okay the second time and this will be the okay-est for me especially since I was so early in my pregnancy, I can morally deal with myself. I am so grateful that today women have the opportunity to choose when they are ready to make a family. I chose the pill because I have always felt that is the most natural way for a body. I do want children one day. I fantasize about them all the time, but this year is not the time.” Click the green title to see the whole story.
“Como mujer que ha tenido varios abortos, quiero decir que el embarazo no deseado y el aborto en espacios de ilegalidad, desinformación y fundamentalismos religiosos se convierten en una realidad dolorosa, peligrosa e incluso letal para las mujeres. Somos maltratadas, traficadas, abusadas en nuestro dolor, desesperación e ignorancia. Esa es la realidad que me tocó vivír cuando tenía entre 25 años y 27 años, respirando impotencia e indignación de vivir en una sociedad con autoridades y leyes de espaldas de nuestras realidades.”
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The English translation of this story is included.
“I never even told one of the guys I was pregnant. I just got an abortion and kept it moving. He already had five kids of his own. I definitely should have been on birth control with a baby maker like that. The other guy; well I was seventeen and he was cheating on his girlfriend with me. That speaks volumes on its own.”
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“My second son was only a few months old when I discovered that I was pregnant for the fifth time despite breastfeeding. We felt that it would be too great a drain on my body’s resources so try to raise one infant while growing another, so, abortion number three. This one I was very sad about, but I felt like I would have been cheating my infant son, like I wouldn’t have been able to provide enough nutrients to him or the fetus, that one or both of them would suffer a deficiency.”
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“After I had my first child I found out I was pregnant when she was six months old. I decided that I could not take on another child when I had an infant. So I decided to have an abortion. The experience in itself was life changing. Then in 2013, the same situation. I just had a baby girl and a couple of months later I found out I was pregnant. The third abortion, we hit some financial strains. It appeared to be twins and I knew I couldn’t have two, there was just no way.”
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“I've had to travel abroad each time to have abortions. Making the ordeal expensive and horribly inconvenient. I've never doubted or regretted my decision to terminate. But the limited access, financial burden and of course the stress of the situation — keeping secrets from family and work, lying to avoid judgement from others, the procedure itself — is exhausting.”
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“This time round it was very easy . . . Easy because I no longer feel trapped by the stigma of it all, easier because I became aware that it is my life, my choice, my decision. Unfortunately, we build a prison from the invisible bricks of other people's opinions. I am sure some people will be reading this, judging me, judging my choices. But now it does not bother me at all. Because I understand that I am the master of my own life.” Click the green title to read more.
“Every one of these experiences, these disorienting and oddly empowering womb-moments, has emboldened me to speak plainly and shamelessly, to speak openly about what happens - in our hearts & in our communities - when we are shamed and herded into a dark corner regarding our reproductive decisions. about how much overall damage is done when they snatch away the sovereignty we deserve to have over our own bodies.” Click the green title to read more.
“Five of my pregnancies occurred while using some method of contraception, often hormonal and condoms at the same time. I was actively trying NOT to get pregnant, so why was my body betraying me? Why couldn't I successfully take a pill or get a shot like normal women?” Click the green title to read more.
“My brother and best friend took me to a clinic near my parents' house over Christmas vacation, and everything went smoothly. I remember crying when I told my parents that night, and I still have one of the little hospital booties I wore in the clinic.”
“That experience was not traumatic in the sense that I felt alone. Of course, it’s a very alone thing to do. You’re very alone in that moment. But I had people around me. My boyfriend was supportive and was there.” Click the green title to read more.
“When I found out I was pregnant, I was in my elementary school bathroom looking at myself in the mirror. I was horrified and scared.” Click the green title to read more.
“I never wanted human children of my own. I am a better aunt and friend then I would ever be a mother.” Click the green title to read more.
“She used another name, but in my mind I remembered her.” Click the green title to read more.
“I have taken two weeks since my positive test to make this decision. Checklists, workbooks, guided daydreams . . . and finally have come to the conclusion that we are not "there" yet. I would want to give a child a stable loving life, which may or may not be in my future.” Click the green title to read more.
“I've regretted the pregnancies, but not the abortions.” Click the green title to read more.
“At no time did the fathers ever know. It was none of their business.” Click the green title to read more.
“That was my first abortion, and no I don't regret it and never did. I had two more abortions, both were from having un-protected sex yes I'm one of those people they talk about who are careless, and I just happen to be extremely fertile.” Click the green title to read more.
“My BC methods failed, or I failed to use them properly. Or both. But none of this was a reason for me to be burdened with raising children for 20+ years, in a nation even then strongly averse to assisting mothers with heath care, education, food & housing support, etc.” Click the green title to read more.
