This story is published at @ProChoiceStories on Instagram.
"I had abortions at 31, 36, and 41. I am now 45 years old, and after being single most of my life, there is just too much content to fully answer why.
Should I have kept the child with the man who, unprovoked, questioned paternity? Or the one who abandoned me when I was ten weeks along? Or how about with the one who went off the deep end into QAnon conspiracies?
I felt fed up with men, relieved I could continue with my life, and exhausted because the process always causes heavy bleeding.
The first time I aborted, it was self-induced. Once the bleeding started, I could not get it to stop. I passed out and had to be hospitalized.
The second time, I went in for the procedure. It was expensive and took months to heal my body and psyche. While recovering and before I received the bill, I had a vivid dream: my grandmother gave me a hug and handed me a check for the exact amount it cost!
The third time, I caught the pregnancy at only three weeks along. I took the abortion pill, which made me bleed heavily for ten days straight.
These choices were excruciating to make. I wanted a child over those years more than anything in the world.
I have two beloved children who deserve my all. I chose to have my son on my own. He is now three and is being raised in a healthy, loving, drama-free home. Despite witnessing my interpersonal hiccups, my naturally talented daughter had my full attention and is starting her third year of college, for which she earned a full-ride scholarship.
Without access to safe, legal abortions, I would have five children right now. I would have to live off government aid instead of building the career I have in healthcare.
I want to give back to my community as much as I take from it. This would not be possible if I had given birth every time I got pregnant! Life starts with intention, not conception.
-Audrey