"Trust your brain and your heart that they will collaborate."

Two people who have had more than one abortion are part of the larger story of Monika’s first abortion experience shared on the podcast Abortion, With Love. Find the link to the entire podcast episode after this text version of the conversation beginning at minute 28 and ending at minute 33.

I was waiting and waiting. Of course I was waiting for two minutes but it felt like ages. Then they took me to a preparatory room. There I had to get some sort of pajama on, or dress.

I was really stressed out. I was really trembling. Next to me there was another lady, who I call Magazine Lady. She was so calm and so relaxed. It really felt as if she was in some sort of wellness center and was being pampered around.

I think I was like really staring at her while I was changing, and she was like, “Are you OK?”

And I was like, “Not really. I really don’t know how I feel.” I was having a hard time taking off my underwear.

But she was like, “Oh, it’s going to be OK. You will see. It’s not that bad.”

I was like, “How do you mean it’s not that bad?”

And she said, “Well, this is my third abortion.”

And I was like, “What?!”

And I think I stared at her even harder. I was standing there half naked, super shocked from what she just told me.

And then I hear this voice from the other corner of the waiting room:

“Yeah, this is my second abortion as well. Contraceptives just don’t work for me.”

I was like WOW!!

This was also the first time in my life I heard about ultra fertility and it’s also something that many women face, that they keep on getting pregnant.

All the three ladies with me in the room already had children. They were in their late 30s or early 40s. They were like, “IUDs don’t work for me.” And the morning after pill they stopped believing in like 20 years ago. One of them was already planning her sterilization process.

I was just laying there feeling like a complete newbie to this world!

They really were so kind and calming. And they gave me a lot of advice.

I must also say, that I got really good advice from the Magazine Lady next to me, who really seemed super calm.

She asked me whether I already had delivered birth or delivered a baby. I said, “No I have never been pregnant before.”

And she said from her own experience, giving birth really gave her confidence as a woman and she said now she really trusts her body. She knows really well her body is able to undergo this huge process and the whole transformation around it.

So she told me, “Just trust your body. Trust your womb. Trust your brain and your heart that they will collaborate.”

I was like, Ok, ok, ok, if she says it and she’s so calm, ok I am just going to try to absorb it.

And they were exchanging experiences about how their IUD broke, how the copper spiral didn’t work, and how they had their first, and second or third child.

This was very pleasant for me to be surrounded by these very strong women who trusted their bodies and showed me the normality of abortion.



"I know that these experiences will make me stronger and more prepared for when I have a child at the time I choose. "

"Shamed into silence, my mom couldn't tell me about her abortions -- until I needed one."