This story is published at Reddit.
It's been years and I haven't told anyone the story and I feel like it will help me as I have been wanting to feel better.
I (26) F had two abortions. One in 2020 at 20 weeks via surgical procedure, and one in 2021 at 5 weeks via the pill.
I honestly haven't been the same since I had the first one. The first abortion was tough. I was only 24 at the time and I had no health insurance, no way to take care of a baby and my health problem had the possibility of affecting the growth of the baby.
I never knew the gender and only had one ultrasound at 7 weeks. I felt the baby moving at 16 weeks and knew by then I needed to make a decision.
I desperately wanted to be a mother and still do, but I knew that it wasn't the time.
After a decision was made I called Planned Parenthood and made an appointment the next day. After the two-day procedure I was so disconnected from everyone and started to regret it.
But as time went on my boyfriend at the time (my fiancé now 23m) helped me push on in life and continue on and things got a little better. I started going back to school and plan things out as I distracted myself.
Fast forward to 2021. I ended up pregnant again but I knew it wasn't the time as I was still in the middle of school and I was trying to start my career and my boyfriend was focused on his career.
I also had insurance through my parents at the time but I knew it wasn't a good decision to keep the baby. I went to Planned Parenthood and got an abortion pill so I could be at home.
After this one, my emotional state was the same and I didn't feel regret as I had no way to for a bond with it.
The first one I felt was traumatizing due to the situation, but the second one I didn't have the same experience.
I never felt the same, though as I feel incomplete but I’m trying to get better. My fiancé never suggested an abortion, he was supportive in whatever decision I made.
But now the circumstances are different. I now have an associates degree and started my career. My fiancé has also has an associates degree and started his career and makes enough to support us and more if wanted. .
We are getting married in September of this year and are going to try to start a family next year.
All in all I wanted to tell my story as it's been weighing on me, but I don't regret the decisions I made.
Click here to listen to this podcast and hear an OB/GYN explain the misunderstandings and cruel stereotypes of later abortions. Learn why gestational bans and exceptions to abortion care are cruel and unusual punishment.