This story is published at Instagram.
A year ago today I was laid up in bed sleeping through as much of my 2nd medical abortion as I possibly could. I had no idea it was #WorldMentalHealthDay but now I do.
And it feels like the perfect day to share my stories considering what’s going on in Texas.
10 years ago I had my first medication abortion. It was one of the easiest decisions I’ve ever made.
My boyfriend AJ (now husband) agreed and we wholeheartedly supported each other in this decision. We were about to move out together, I lost my job, he had gotten a demotion, and we just knew we weren’t ready. It was that simple. No regrets other than not talking about it MORE.
A little over a year ago we were faced with the same decision. But coming to that decision was a completely different and way more painful process.
I was struggling mentally and just finally starting to realize it while also working tirelessly to avoid dealing with it. I was lost to say the least.
Moving was hard. Being a stay at home mom in a new town was harder. And then came COVID. My anxiety was a mess. I felt so lonely. And I became obsessed with the idea of having another kid within 2-3 years of having Rustin.
I never even stopped to question it. Or if I even wanted another kid besides the fact that I had always said I wanted 2 kids.
So for me that meant it was time to start trying all while never actually having a conversation with my husband about any of it.
Long story short we had to have that hard conversation of why he didn’t want another kid the day I peed on a stick and saw a +. Reality hit me like a ton of gently falling bricks.
He was able to think big picture. He knew he wasn’t happy in many aspects of life and that adding anything else to the mix would only make him/us suffer more.
It was such a painfully beautiful experience. Everything went smoothly once again.
And I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been mentally and physically as of today. All because I had a choice. A choice I wouldn’t have had today if I was living in my so called ‘home’ state of Texas considering there was a heartbeat and I was barely past 6 weeks.
WE had a choice and we are all so much better for it. 🤍 #abortionishealthcare #shoutyourabortion