This story is published at My Abortion, My Life.
I have had 4 abortions. In 2006 I gave birth to my first child her dad was abusive, alcoholic and on hard drugs. I made a bad mistake by getting with him. By the time my child was 5 months old I became pregnant by him. I knew I did not want anymore children with this man so I begged my mom for abortion money. she didn't want me to do it but I pressured her until she gave in.
I took the abortion pill at 6 weeks pregnant. I felt bad and promised myself that would never happen again. Because of low self esteem I continued dealing with my child's dad and when my child turned 2 1/2 I became pregnant. Once again I begged my mom for money but this time I told her it was for something else. I was ashamed to tell her it was for another abortion and I'm sure she could tell I was pregnant because my belly was out, I was about 12 weeks pregnant with the second abortion. I had to have the medical abortion where they scrape you inside. It was horrible pain imaginable both physically and emotionally something you will never forget.
After my second abortion the abuse got worse I knew I was going to die or either he was. I finally ended my dangerous affair and for 4 years I was single. It was refreshing. I gained my self worth and independence back but eventually I became lonely again.
After some time I met this guy from another state. Once again my fate has it, I became pregnant and he runs away with a girl and refuses to help me so at 6 weeks pregnant I have my third abortion. I was extremely depressed and wanted to numb the pain. I started drinking alcohol heavy and slept with this guy I met at a store several different times.
Six months later after my third abortion I fell pregnant. I knew I did not want a baby by a man that had no intention of becoming my husband. we were only sex partners and so I had my fourth abortion. I'm not proud of my poor choices in men or my behavior but I'm thankful I had options. It's something you never forget.