This story is published at BBC Radio 4’s The Woman’s Hour in a feature titled “Abortion Stories: Five Women Share Their Experiences. You can hear the audio if you click here.
In 2018, more than 200,000 women in England and Wales terminated a pregnancy. Louise was one of them.
Already a mother of three who had experienced post-natal depression, Louise says she knew she couldn’t cope with another child.
“I didn't want to have another baby. They wouldn't have had a very good mum. They wouldn't have had what I would want for my children. My mental health would have deteriorated, and I think I would have ended up, either on long term antidepressants, or I would have ended up in psychiatric hospital,” she says.
During a scan before the procedure, Louise also found out that she was pregnant with twins.
"I hadn't even considered that it might be a multiple pregnancy. I cried at that point, I'm not sure why. It didn't change my decision. Twins would have meant I had five children — four children under three.”
“At that moment it was just a bit more clarity, but sadness at the same time. Had it been the third pregnancy or the second pregnancy it would have been totally different. It was a bit of a shock to say the least."
Louise’s experience was physically and emotionally draining but says she has no shame and does not regret ending the pregnancy.
“Our family is very complete and we are very happy. We have three very lovely, wonderful children. I don't think that I will ever think that we made the wrong decision,” she says.