This story is published at Women on Web.

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 7 years. We are a great team and obviously we have planned to get married and have children, maybe one is more than enough.

I took care of myself for 5 years with the implant and then I switched to the pills. For work reasons my stress was through the roof and I began to have strong and regular migraines.

When I took the neurological exams they advised me to leave the contraceptive pills at least for a while and take another type of contraceptive method. That happened in early July. Despite leaving the pills, my period was prompt and in regular cycles immediately.

In October we traveled for the whole month. I had my menstrual period normally during the trip. When we get back, my period was supposed to start on time but on the 4th day of delay we chose to do a home test to remove the doubt

It tested positive. After falling into a panic we decided to do the blood test to be 100% sure, the result gave that I had 2172 mU / mL indicating that she was between the 4th and 5th week of pregnancy.

Although we had talked about having children, we felt that we were not ready yet. We have joint plans that we had not done yet and we knew that they would be things that would weigh us down in the future if we decided to have children at that time.

The next day we decided to abort. We searched for "cytotec" in Google and several pages appeared that offered a delivery service for pills and a manual that explained how to apply them, the symptoms of an abortion, post-abortion care and risks that we should be aware of to request medical help such as bleeding or fever that is too high.

We contacted the providers by whatsapp. They sent us 12 cytotecs at $ 60. They were fully sealed with a visible expiration date, and they gave us the whatsapp number of a supposed doctor in Guayaquil who would answer our messages if we needed help or had concerns .

We decided to start the procedure that same day, start at 1pm introducing 4 pills vaginally, putting them as deep as possible and lift my hips with pillows. I did not get up for three hours not even to go to the bathroom.

I began to have slight cramps in the belly and the lower back. At 4pm, I took another dose of 4 tablets of cytotec sublingually, wait for them to dissolve under the tongue and then swallow them with a little water.

After a short time the cramps intensified but were intermittent. They lasted about 3 min with an intense pain but then it passed and I hardly felt anything anymore. To help me with the pain I put a bag of warm water on my belly and also on my lower back.

After an hour or an hour and a half I started to bleed. It was not heavy bleeding. I had dark red clots that came out when I went to the bathroom to urinate and came out like threads. It also gave me a lot of diarrhea, super liquid. I did not know that it was coming out because I had not eaten since 9am and I started the abortion at 1pm.

At 7:10 a.m., I took the third dose of cytotec sublingually, the bleeding remained the same, in little quantity and thick. I checked the clots and saw that there were small whitish pieces, like white grains of sand or very small pieces of cloth.

I was worried all the time because the bleeding was little, I had hardly had chills or cramps and the colic had practically disappeared. Also when I went to bed the flow stopped completely. I read on some internet pages that doing physical effort helps speed up the abortion, so I did aerobics for 20 min, cardiac exercise with stretching and jumping jacks.

At 10pm I was able to eat some fruit and warm ginger tea because taking the cytotec tablets sublingually made me nauseous, but for fear of vomiting the tablets I could hold on and did not vomit even once.

By 12pm stop bleeding I was scared because all the stories on this page described heavy bleeding with fever and cramps and chills but it didn't happen to me. I thought that the abortion had not been completely performed so we wrote to "doctor" Guayaquil to advise us, he told us that the only way to find out was to perform a transvaginal echo, he did not give us any other explanation or answer ... and we had so many questions!

We decided to rest. All night I was aware of the bleeding but I never, never felt that I bled again. At 6 am the next day I checked the sanitary napkin again. I had not had a discharge all night (as I suspected), that only aggravated my fears. I was sure that the abortion had not been completely performed.

I went to a trusted gynecologist and told her what happened. I did a transvaginal echo and the doctor read the results; No gestational sac was found, but the endometrium was irregular, apparently the abortion was successful but I still had remains. The doc sent me medication to expel the remnants.

This was my second abortion. Unlike the first, my heart is sad because I do not doubt my partner, how much we love each other, but precisely for that reason we decided to postpone our paternity and fulfill the goals we have and the dreams in which we are still only two :)

After the entire abortion process we are glad that my health is fine and that the abortion has been safely completed. It was at home with my boyfriend, who was the one who handed me the tea, the hot water bottles, hugged me while I was afraid, and even cried with me from the pain and the frustration of not being able to do anything else to help me.

If you have goals or dreams that you still want to do alone, remember that you have the power to decide. Hugs to all.

~Yukino

Llevamos 7 años de relacion con mi novio, somos un gran equipo y obvio tenemos planeado casarnos y tener hijos, quiza con uno sea mas que suficiente. Me cuide 5 años con el implante y luego cambie a las pastillas, por cuestiones laborales mi estres estaba por las nubes y comence a tener migrañas fuertes y regulares, al realizarme los examenes neurologicos me aconsejaron dejar las pastillas anticonceptivas al menos por un tiempo y buscar otro tipo de metodo anticonceptivo, eso paso en inicios de julio, pese a dejar las pastillas mi periodo fue puntual y en ciclos regulares de manera inmediata.

En octubre viajamos por el mes entero, tuve mi periodo mestrual normalmente durante el viaje, cólicos y flujos normales. Cuando regresamos, se suponia que mi periodo debia iniciar puntualmente pero al 4to dia de retraso elegimos hacernos una prueba casera para quitarnos la duda, dio positivo, despues de caer en panico decidimos hacernos la prueba de sangre para estar 100% seguros, el resultado dio que tenía 2172 de mU/mL que indicaba que estaba entre la 4ta y 5ta semana de embarazo.

Pese a que habiamos hablado de tener hijos sentamos que todavía no estabamos preparados, tenemos planes conjuntos que no habíamos hecho aun y sabiamos que iban a ser cosas que nos pesarían en el futuro si decidíamos tener hijos en ese momento. El siguiente dia decidimos abortar, buscamos "cytotec" en google y nos aparecieron varias paginas que ofrecian servicio de entrega de pastillas y un manual que explicaba como aplicarlas, los sintomas de un aborto, cuidados post aborto y riesgos a los que debiamos estar pendientes para solicitar ayuda medica como hemorragia o fiebre demasiadas altas.

Nos contactamos por whatsapp con los proveedores, cuando llegaron nos entregaron 12 cytotec a 60$, estaban totalmente selladas con fecha de expiracion visible, y nos dieron el numero de whatsapp de un supuesto doctor en Guayaquil que nos responderia mensajes si necesitábamos ayuda o teniamos inquietudes. Decidimos iniciar el procedimiento ese mismo dia, inicie a la 1pm introduciendo 4 pastillas via vaginal metiendolas lo mas profundo posible y levante las caderas con almohadas, no me levante por tres horas ni siquiera para ir al baño, comence a tener colicos leves en el vientre y la espalda baja pero todavía no presentaba ningún sagrado, a las 4pm tome vía sublingual otra dosis de cytotec de 4 pastillas espere a que se disolvieran debajo de la lengua y luego las trague con un poco de agua, después de poco tiempo los colicos de intensificaron pero eran intermitentes, duraban cerca de 3 min con un dolor intenso pero despues pasaba y casi ya no sentia nada, para ayudarme con los dolores puse una bolsita de agua caliene sobre el vientre y tambien en la espalda baja.

Luego de una hora u hora y media comence recien a sangrar, no fue un sangrado abundante, tenia coagulos rojo oscuro que salian cuando iba al baño a orinar y salian como hilos. Tambien me dio muchisima diarrea, super liquida, no sabia que salia porque no habia comido desde las 9am y comence el aborto a la 1pm.

A las 7:10 tome via sublingual la tercera dosis de cytotec, el sangrado seguia igual, en poca cantidad y espesos. Revise los coagulos y vi que habian pequeños pedazos blanquesinos, como granitos de arena blanco o pedazos de tela muy pequeños. Estuve preocupada todo el tiempo porque el sangrado era poco, casi no habia tenido escalofríos o calambres y los cólicos practicamente habian desaparecido, además cuando me acostaba el flujo se detenia por completo.

Lei en algunas paginas de internet que hacer esfuerzo físico ayuda a acelerar el aborto asi que hice aeróbicos por 20 min, ejercicio cardiaco con estiramiento y saltos. A las 10pm pude comer algo de fruta y te caliente de jengibre porque tomar las pastillas cytotec de forma sublingual me dio nauseas, pero por miedo a vomitar las pastillas pude aguantar y no vomite ni una vez.

Para las 12pm deje de sangrar, estaba asustada porque todas las historias de esta pagina describian sangrado abundante con fiebre y calambres y escalofrios pero a mi no me paso. Pense que el aborto no se habia realizado completamente asi que escribimos al"doctor" Guayaquil para asesorarnos, nos dijo que la unica manera de saberlo era realizarnos un eco transvaginal, no nos dio ninguna otra explicación o respuesta.... y teníamos tantas preguntas!

Decidimos descansar, toda la noche estuve pendiente del sangrado pero nunca, nunca más sentí que sangré. A las 6 am del siguiente día revise nuevamente la toalla sanitaria, no habia tenido flujo en toda la noche (como sospeché), eso solo agravó mis miedos, estaba segura que el aborto no se había realizado completamente.

Fui a una ginecologa de confianza y le conte lo sucedido, mi hice un eco transvaginal y la doctora leyó los resultados; no hallazgo de saco gestacional, pero el endometrio estaba irregular, al parecer el aborto fue exitoso pero todavía tenía restos, la doc me envió medicacion para expulsar los remanentes y despues de 14 dias hacerme otro eco transvaginal.

Todavia no inicio el tratamiento pero despues de que todo este completo actualizare el blog.

Este fue mi segundo aborto, a diferencia del primero, me lamente de corazon porque no dudo de mi compañero, de cuanto nos queremos, pero justamente por eso decidimos aplazar nuestra paternidad y cumplir las metas que tenemos y los sueños en los que todavía somos solamente dos :)

Despues de todo el proceso de aborto nos alegramos que mi salud este bien y que el aborto se haya completado de forma segura, realizando un aborto en casa con mi novio, que fue quien me paso el te, las bolsas de agua caliente, me abrazo mientras tuve miedo, y hasta lloro conmigo del dolor y de la frustracion de no poder hacer nada mas para ayudarme.

Si tienen metas o sueños que todavía desean hacer solos, recuerden que tienen el poder de decidir. Abrazos a todas.