"I guess I feel shame at failing to prevent pregnancy. Even though I’m not taking risks!"

This is an anonymous Reddit post followed by three replies.

Has anyone due to circumstances out of their control ended up having multiple abortions?

I had a termination in 2000, 2002, 2007, 2010. Two were from rapes as a minor and two were failure of contraceptives (pill plus condom!)

Art by Dev

Art by Dev

I'm facing the likelihood of needing to terminate again despite being massively careful.

I guess I feel shame at failing to prevent pregnancy. Even though I’m not taking risks!

My partner is furious and completely against the idea of having a child.

I feel worthless and I know that I can't handle the emotional turmoil that goes along with having another abortion.

Replies to this post:

Shame is a mostly useless emotion. Contraception has failed you. You have not failed contraception. Get the care you need and then get a better contraceptive method if you can. You are not alone.

If your partner doesn’t want a child, tell him to get a vasectomy. It shouldn’t be all on you to prevent this.

I’ve had 2. I felt a little ashamed I was in the situation again but eventually I got over it.

"I wasn’t conflicted or traumatized but obtaining them was difficult, enraging, and much harder than the procedure itself."

Podcast ~ "Both of my abortions have really different circumstances and really different meanings for me."