This story was submitted to Pregnancy Choices Directory.
Hello, I've had 2 abortions within half a year.
The first one occurred February 29, 2015 and the second one is happening tomorrow on June 2, 2015.
The first time I found I was pregnant, I was with my boyfriend of only one month and thought, “Wow, I hardly even know this guy, yet I'm pregnant with his child?!”.
I made an appointment with Planned Parenthood and they determined that I was actually 6 weeks pregnant. Obviously it wasn't my current boyfriend's child, but my previous ex's.
This news was quite shocking to hear, but nonetheless my boyfriend was still 100% supportive of me and my decision, and I had decided to take the pill.
I'll admit I didn't know what to expect at first, I can't stand needles, just being at a hospital where needles are kept creeps me out.
They made me take the first pill in a room and gave me a bunch of paperwork with specific instructions on what to do and what to expect.
The first pill only stopped the pregnancy, the second one was what disposed of it. The rest of the pills were for nausea and pain.
I'll admit I was pretty nervous, but I had my best friend, boyfriend, mother, and sister all with me while I was waiting for my abortion to be official.
My first abortion went by pretty quickly, and I hardly experienced any regret. To me a pregnancy isn't exactly a baby yet, and by that time it was only a small group of cells. I only dreaded at the thought of what could've happened, but I knew I was definitely not ready.
I had 2 jobs and was going to school full time. All of my money went to either school or bills, I hardly had anything saved up. I knew that I couldn't give the baby up for adoption once it was born either, if I went through all of the pain of carrying him/her to term then of course I'm going to keep my child.
Plus I couldn't bear the thought of having my child's life being cared for by someone else, I would never be comfortable with that.
The second time I found I was pregnant was a little bit more emotional for me. I was having unprotected sex with my boyfriend and didn't think twice about it since he was sterile, so I didn't believe it could've happened to me again.
I was a lot more nauseous with this pregnancy since I threw up everything that I ate and my breasts happened to be a lot more tender.
My family was still supportive of me, especially my mother. However, they all wanted me to keep the baby this time. My mom even started to look at cribs! I started to think to myself how fast this is all happening, as if a decision had already been made.
I informed them that in the end it is my decision and that I still wasn't ready to have a child. My boyfriend was a little sad since he knows the chance of him having a child is slim to none, but still respected my decision.
I am having some regret thinking about that, but it's my body that has to go through the pregnancy, not his.
Having 2 abortions within 6 months took a toll on my body, emotions, and actions. I thought I was going mad at some moments, but I just didn't have a regular period for 6 months.
It's definitely not an easy decision to make, but if you're not ready then you're just simply not ready.
For me, having another abortion seems like the right and most ethical choice. I would want my baby to have absolutely the best life he/she could possibly have. I don't wish to rely on the government for support. My child is my responsibility, therefore the father and I would have to be able to take care of our child appropriately. After knowing what I know now, I'm planning to be on birth control and using condoms quite frequently. I know that I'll be ready next time.