This story is in a downloadable booklet from My Body, My Life.
When I found out I was pregnant the first time, I felt like a bit of a slapper. I mean it’s not difficult - contraception is free. It’s not difficult to come by; there are loads of places where you can get contraception.
I used to judge other girls who would get pregnant and have babies at 18, and then there I was, in the same boat.
I had been on the pill since I was really young because of problems with my periods, but for about six months before I got pregnant the first time I went through a bit of a naughty rebellious phase, and I just stopped taking it. That was why I got pregnant.
The guy I was involved with at the time was really nasty about the whole situation — he just turned up at my door with £500 and said ‘Just go private. Get it sorted.’ So I decided to terminate.
It wasn’t just because of him, it was definitely my own decision; I knew I was too young.
After this I got a new boyfriend who I was with for the best part of 5 years. We decided to have a child, so I got pregnant and kept the baby. I was on lots of different types of the pill for most of this time; I had to keep changing because they kept disagreeing with me.
After that relationship ended I stopped taking anything because I wasn’t thinking about being sexually active with anyone. I had a reconciliation with my ex and that was how I got pregnant again.
Deciding to have an abortion was easier the second time, so I booked in for one at the clinic. However about five days before I went to the clinic I started bleeding so by the time I got there they actually said I’d miscarried.
Looking back I can see that the abortions were an easy choice to make, it was just a difficult time. I feel that I have learnt my lesson and am so much more careful about using contraception now. In the end, despite feeling angry with myself for getting pregnant, I knew that the choice to have an abortion was mine to make. I feel like the choice was the right one for myself and for my child.