This story is published at My Abortion, My Life.
It all started when I went out with a boy who I had known for years. In fact, he was a close friend. At first, he was perfect, and I couldn't have wished for better, but then I found out I was pregnant almost straight away. I was only 17 years old, had no job, and still going through college. We both sat down and decided to have an abortion.
Soon after, cracks started to show, but I was so scared of being alone and leaving him after what I had just been through. 7 months later it got worse, the mental abuse started, the blackmailing, the name calling, the outbursts of nasty stuff and nasty words, and then it became physical and I found out I was pregnant. I was so scared because I knew what this boy was, he was evil to me. I was worried about me, my body, the pregnancy, my life and even more so my future. If I had stayed with him, he would have ended up probably killing me one day.
We decided to get an abortion, the days passed, the abuse started again but I needed to do this for me. Otherwise I would hate to imagine what my life would have been like with him in it any longer, after how he treated me. I finally got the strength after all of what he put me through and I walked away. I'm so thankful I was able to access the treatment I did. I do believe it changed my life for the better, although it's sad, of course it is, who wants to go through this? No one. But when it's all you’re faced with or a life of hell, you become too relieved and thankful afterwards.
Then 5 years later I meet the person I thought I would stay with forever. I thought, ‘oh this is my life now, it’s together.’ I loved him maybe more then what I should have. He had lost everything, his home, his job. I was faced with losing my job, and I find out I'm again pregnant while on the pill. Devastated wasn't the word because I longed for this for so long, yet when it happened my life was crumbling in front of my eyes. I knew we couldn't have it, we had split up and lost everything in the process. I found myself having another heartbreaking decision on my hands, but I know what I did was for the best.
I'm not one of those girls who have abortions for contraception, I'm a girl whose contraception has failed me, and my life is nothing for me at the moment, let alone a child. I think that's an awful accusation, because I can't imagine any girl wanting to go through this for contraception.
Be nice and never judge. Because all my friends used to say to me, they have had an abortion and I always thought that would never be me. You can never be too certain! Don't beat women up who chose not to be selfish. They are there for a reason and until you have had one, you don't know how truly hard it is to go through such a thing. Thinking of you all experiencing this difficult journey also.”