“You are loved”. Whoever you are who has come across this stigma project, you will only find understanding and compassion here.
Birth control methods are much more complicated than conceiving is. I have had 2+ abortions, specifically I’ve had 3. I had them in the very early 1970’s when I was in my early 20’s.
The first time I had no idea what birth control was. The second time it was because I was in between a breakup and getting back together with a the same boyfriend and I was probably negligent in using any one of the contraception methods that I had been trying during that time. The relationship was a good one, but we were much too immature for a more serious grown up relationship, let alone to raise a child.
My third pregnancy occurred while I was married to another person at the time, although we were in the process of divorcing because of how unsuited we were for each other. I had married him two years earlier when I thought I was pregnant and wanted to avoid a third abortion. That was in 1979.
In all three of these instances the choice to have an abortion was a private and personal one, one in which I was supported by my partner, as well. In all three instances my only excuse for those unplanned pregnancies was naïveté and inefficient use of birth control methods.
Over the years I have always thought of having an abortion as being the personal and private procedure that I experienced with Planned Parenthood. Increasingly, though, the choice has been hijacked by cruel, insensitive and misinformed people who refuse to feel any compassion at all for the individual responsibilities that women alone, regardless of age, culture, economics or social status, face in their reproductive lives.
No judgment or value should ever be imposed upon a choice not to bring a child into the world for whatever reason. It is rather a compassionate responsibility to acknowledge the extent of care that you would not be able to give to a child.
If you are searching for peace and acceptance for your choice in having either one or 2+ abortions (or even if the decision was made for you), I hope that you find the comfort that you need in the words that are compassionately shared here.